The Museum of Us: Aanika's Transmedia Debut Novel Teaser

🦚The Museum of Us🦚

Note: this poem is the opening teaser for my upcoming debut transmedia novel tentatively titled Breadcrumbs of Affection (BOA)

I met a nerdy guy once who earnestly told me that a Denny’s milkshake was very economical.
I burst out laughing, finding it amusing he could say such a thing with such conviction.

Who uses the word “economical” in a sentence even?

I kept hanging out with him.

I saw him swim like a fish in the ocean,
climb up a tree like a cheetah, and fell in love with his kind eyes
and generous heart.

He gave me his yellow backpack to carry and put his arms around me as if he had done so all his life.

I spontaneously kissed him bathed in the golden glow of sunset

Surrounded by colorful tiled domes as his eyes widened with shock,
then softened into a smile before he laughed
and pulled me closer.

Then he broke both our hearts while riding a merry-go-round by the sea
with me in a magenta jacket.

We didn’t finish each other’s sentences.

Instead, we complemented each other.

🔥The story of how Water & Fire melded on Earth 🌊

The beginning of everything.
Bright intensity in your eyes.

The end of everything.
And your sparkling eyes.

Where the fragrant blooms of night jasmine filled the air.

When you and I were lost in each other in the echoes of dusk.

Just ordinary people making the exquisite spirit of our
differences float like dancing melodies into the sky. 🎇

Skeptics? Yes.

Lust? No.

In another lifetime, we are chosen family.

To infinity & beyond?

How cliche.

No.

Simply us.

-Tame & Sayang

Introduction: Tame & Sayang

Sempurna: Tame (Tah-may) and Sayang (Suh-yah-ng)

Artwork © Aanika I. 2010 – 2025

She was an iHop woman.  He was a Denny’s man.

She was an idealist. He was a pragmatist.  

A Subaru girl and a Mercedes-Benz guy. 

Favorite color 

Her: royal purple, marigold, olive green, and the list goes on.  

Him: blue, black 

Favorite Band 

Her: The Fray, The Script  

Him: Guns & Roses, Nirvana  

Favorite Sport 

Him: swimming, swam like a fish. Could also climb a tree

Her: Ehhh…playing badminton? Dabbled in fencing

Musical Instrument 

Him: he played guitar

Her: she used to play violin when she was 11 years old and really liked piano music  

Travel Destination and Type 

Him: Europe and spontaneous drives 

Her: Madagascar, Namibia, Bora Bora, Easter Island, Palau, Marshall Islands 

Her: Detailed planner – adores day by day and hour by hour itineraries.  

Her: She liked big cities and natural history and art museums (pretty much any museum lol).  

Him: He enjoyed driving while she hated it because it has always given her anxiety.  

Him: He liked hiking, being outdoors, and science museums (if he absolutely had to pick).  

They both agree that the Field Museum in Chicago is fantastic! 

Ideal Weather 

Him: cold, cloudy with maybe sun peeking out a few times throughout the day, 50- and 69-degrees Fahrenheit 

Her: warm, sunny, balmy, zero humidity, breezy, 75-85 degrees Fahrenheit  

At a restaurant: what would you like to have as a side?  

Him: Fruit  

(Why do you always have to order healthy sides? Who eats fruit while they are at a restaurant? It’s so boring!) 

Her: French fries!  (You never eat anything healthy!) 

Favorite Drink  

Him: beer & likes the Moscato sweet white wine which she introduced him to which tastes like grape juice to him.  

Her: Sweet white wine (Moscato!), cocktails, and appreciates Extra Añejo Tequila 

Favorite Movies 

Him: Hollywood intellectual movie snob 

Her: Grew up on Bollywood, started watching South Indian films 10+ years, and used to watch Korean, Japanese, and Taiwanese dramas before 

Favorite Food 

Him: can eat a combination of rice, beans, vegetables and be okay with it but would need some variety every few days 

Her: Needs to eat something different everyday for every meal from a new country 

Sleep 

Him: used to snore but can wake up any second easily and fall asleep easily 

Her: night owl with insomnia since age 12  

Time and Productivity  

Him: Very time conscious and need to do something productive every day

Her: Can be a couch potato for several days and has trouble with time management 

Demeanor 

Him: calm, quiet, goofy, easy going, and soft spoken

Her: Bubbly, talkative, and uses hands a lot while talking, wicked sense of humor 

Cultural Navigation
She was bicultural, experienced in navigating between two different cultural frameworks.
He was monocultural, raised within a singular cultural framework.
She was bilingual. He was trilingual.
He was born and raised in one country but lived in many cities.
She was born and raised in two different countries and cultures 

The Usual Demographics: completely different 

Countries they were raised in and lived, nationality, ethnicity, religion (the ones they were raised in and beliefs as adults), languages they spoke, gender identity, sexuality, socioeconomic status, professions, academic backgrounds, family structure, political views, dietary lifestyle.

Sayang, I Need You

Unsent Letter After 6 Years

I Told You Everything Except This

Sayang, I need you.

I told you why I loved you.

I gave you specific reasons for why I admired you.

I told you why I respected you.

I gave you specific reasons for why I liked you. With dates.

Yet, I realized after six years of not talking to you that I never told you why I needed you.

Yes, I told you, I wanted you in my life

That I needed you in the abstract, bigger picture.

But….

I never told you why I needed you in the ordinary, daily way.

I Need You in the Small Ways That Shape My Days

I need you to help me go to sleep at around the same time consistently.

I need you to help me make it easier to eat fruits consistently, even though I’ve gotten better at that than before.

But who even likes eating fruits?!? 😫

You can stop rolling your eyes now. 👀

You’d probably call or message me and ask if I’ve eaten the mangoes you left for me in a dabba that morning.

I need you to take care of me.

On all fronts.

I need you to do it all.

I need you to trust me that I can prove to you that I can rely on you.

I need you to hold me accountable and call me out if I give in or want to give in to my fears.

I need you to drive me to work or pick me up from work everyday.

I need you to tell me what we’re gonna do and what the plan is.

Yes, I’ll go for a drive with you.

No, I’m not asking any follow up questions.

This is proof to everyone in case anything happens to me. 😬

No detailed plans needed. 😬

I Need You to Stay Even When It’s Uncomfortable

Yes, my savior martyr complex and pride is taking a hit.

Yes, I am extremely uncomfortable saying all of this out loud.

Yes, I’m fighting the strong urge to say:

“I’m just kidding!
Haha. I don’t need anything.
I don’t need anyone.
I can do everything on my own.
I’m fine! ”

But I’m not.

I’m not fine.

I do need something.

I do need someone.

I need to be able to trust someone so I don’t feel like I have to control everything in order to feel safe and for things to not fall apart.

I need you to give me that feeling back.

Yes, I felt emotional and psychological mental safety with you until I didn’t.

So that’s why

I need you to give that feeling back to me.

Let Me Write It Down & Stay Through the Discomfort

I need you to stay through the discomfort.

Also, can you please stay here next to me?

BRB🏃🏾‍♀️

I have to get my journal so I can write down what I really want to say right now:

I will kick your ass back across the world if you don’t stay.

I’m running away with my Malayali lover!

Because I’m finally learning not to blurt it all out and disappear after.

I’m finally learning to stay through the discomfort.

I Need to Trust You with My Dreams

Because you’re the kind of person who would make my dreams come true.

My dream, that if I ever have a family of my own someday, I want to have a partner who can & is more than willing to stay at home with the kids and take care of absolutely everything while I’m out having fun on an international trip.

Who wouldn’t make me feel guilty or ashamed, and who’d prioritize my dreams as seriously as their own.

A partner and co-parent who shows up and shows me through their actions that we’re in this together.

Every Day.

A partner who believes in and lives up to a 50-50 partnership.

Not perfectly & all the time, but cares about and notices when things are not equal.

I don’t need perfect. I need presence.

I’m trying to be a mature adult & putting in the work required to model healthy relationship dynamics for our future kids.

Ugh! I hate adulting. 😩

“Like do you know how much we’ve sacrificed for you? Had to sacrifice our immaturity!” 🤭🤭

We’ll need to set aside time later to discuss our strategy of how we’re gonna 🤩 “level up” 🏆 on the emotional blackmailing with our kids compared to our Asian parents 😄😆🤣😝😜

I mean, why else would anybody be having kids nowadays when they are definitely not “economical”. 😉

I Need The Kind of Love That Shows Up

I need you to love me.

Properly.

All the way.

Without hesitation or fear.

Or shame.

I need you to spoil me with gifts that I wouldn’t get for myself.

No, not only my favorite wine or chocolates.

Thoughtful and intentional practical gifts.

Your strong suit.

Like an ergonomic chair, keyboard, and mouse to help with my back and wrist pain after you assess if I need another new one which is better than what I have.

And build this complicated custom organization tool that three AI assistants repeatedly said will take a team of specialists at least a year to prototype just to help me organize my notes! Apparently, what I’m wanting is very complex even with AI help!

And extra phone chargers in every room to help with my ADHD.

And if you get me a new car, it definitely can’t be a BMW or Mercedes-Benz. Please. No.

You know they have terrible leg room and space in the rear backseat for make out sessions.

I’m a Subaru gal. Mazda works too. Genesis, if you really want to go fancy.

I need you to help me make my blog beautiful and keep it that way.

I’ve spent so much time trying to figure out the admin tech. side (even though I know you aren’t a web developer) of things for 2 years that I haven’t actually published or finalized editing all of the stories I want to share.

The Life I Want With You

I need you to kiss me before we both go to work every day.

(Although, it’s WAY better if we come up with a plan where we don’t even have to work and can work remotely from anywhere on OUR own business or you know get to a point where it’s just watching movies, eating, lovemaking, traveling, and that’s it.

Did I mention lovemaking already? 🤔

What to do? I’m a little old-fashioned like that. 🤓😉😁

I’ll be annoyed if I need to remind you to take out the trash, but I’ll be freaking out if you forget to kiss me.

And I need to be able to trust you with my future.

I need you to show up.

Even when it’s hard.

Especially when it’s difficult.

Like when I cry in your arms & you can’t bear the sorrow you hear.

I need you to not fix anything.

I need you to let me cry in your arms.

I need you to meet me where I’m at.

I need the kind of love that shows up.

Even when it causes you discomfort.

Yes, I’m ready.

But what about…?

No, I’m not giving up my dreams.

Especially, when my dreams include kicking your ass.

I’ll explain soon.

I need you to show up at my doorstep and tell me you’re ready.

Stop Choosing Absence

Stop backing away from me.

I know what you’re telling yourself.

“I’m not worthy of her love.”
“I can’t live up to her expectations.”
“I’m saving her by staying away.
I’m walking away and staying silent to give her freedom”

Stop it.

You don’t get to decide how I love or what I want.

You say you believe in women’s rights.

You’re not even giving me the chance to decide how I want you to suffer.

This isn’t about what you deserve.

It’s about choosing.
And I still choose you.

I don’t need perfect.
I need presence.

I need you to stay through the discomfort.

The Grief That Lingers Throughout

Every time I’ve thought of ending my life, your voice in my heads angrily says,

“What the hell are you talking about?!???”

And something about it scares me.

Maybe because you’re the one who remembers the day my eyes stopped sparkling.

You remembering who I was, when I couldn’t, was sometimes the only thing that kept me here.

I’m not afraid of your anger.
Or conflict.

I’m afraid of your absence.
I’m afraid of you giving up. And abandoning me

I need you to bring me home.

To you.

Copyright Notice

No part of this content may be reproduced, distributed, shared, reposted, modified, or used in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, including but not limited to use for artificial intelligence (AI) or machine learning training datasets without explicit written authorization of Aanika I. (author & editor). Violations will be pursued to the fullest extent of the law.

Breadcrumbs of Affection

🦚The Museum of Us🦚

Introduction: Tame & Sayang